I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
