I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
love makes seman taste better
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
