real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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