i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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