I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
