giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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