Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
40s are totally the cure
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
