Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
