Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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