Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
