Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
