he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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