she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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