A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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