i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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