i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
