After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
