My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
