OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
