We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
