You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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