I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
