Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
