i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
