did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
