I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
