I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
