Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
