My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
