I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Text me some of your sweat
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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