sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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