shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
