i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
love makes seman taste better
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
