So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
