the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
