I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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