we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
