Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
