And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
