spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
