i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
worst night to have a conscience
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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