Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
