so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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