About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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