I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
