Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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