We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
