Three words: puerto rican gang bang
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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