Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
