It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
