I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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