I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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