I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
