after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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