You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
