That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I have vodka in my lungs
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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