i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
